Corporate Propagandist Pillows

'Corporate greed has become unpopular...Any suggestions for a new name for it?'

"Welcome to the future"

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

"It's a swearbox."

'We're looking for impartial people who think the way we do.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

"So how did the rest of the team respond to your promotion?"

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'I can beat my own drum but it'll be counting on your to toot my horn.'

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

'Actually, I was hoping for a more inspiring mission statement.'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.