Corporate Spokesperson Pillows

Businessman's schedule full of confrontations.

"How's that for your 'corporate response?'"

'I started as a corporate watchdog under Clinton, and become a corporate spokesman for Bush.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"National security adviser"

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

Changing Minds

HR - Helping Relationships

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'I can beat my own drum but it'll be counting on your to toot my horn.'

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

'What's the concept? I'm not sure what you're trying to say, Ms. Harris.'

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."