Corporate Power Pundit Pillows

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

'We're looking for impartial people who think the way we do.'

"So how did the rest of the team respond to your promotion?"

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

'Actually, I was hoping for a more inspiring mission statement.'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

"I absolutely refuse to be surrounded by yes men, do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

'Great visual support.'

"The boss spent the day bouncing ideas off me!"

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

'Shift our strategy? I didn't know we had any strategy.'

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

Liquidity Lunch

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

"Anyone who opposes my proposal lift an arm!"

Credit Crunch: Breakfast for Losers.

Wall Street: Panic, don't panic

"If you want to know why I fired you, you can subscribe to my blog."