Corporate Meeting Aficionado Gifts

"Four Boilerplate Specials."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

The MBA Draft

Bo're'droom

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"We have an acronym!"

Men's business romper.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"At this office no two days are different."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Parade of Businessmen

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

Trade Show Sherpas

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."