Corporate Joke Collector Pillows

'I'm afraid, unless you can show proof you're employed by God, I'll have to deny this claim.'

I like your suit, to me it says 'management'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Suffering from Cooties?

Friday

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Useless add-ons.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'The reorganisation is moving along. Here comes the new honcho now.'

Shark infested custard!

My daddy ate my homework

Cheating Death.