Corporate Jedi Gifts

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

'What's wrong now?'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Office slaves.

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."