Corporate Idealist T-Shirts

"You know what I think, folks? Improving technology isn't important. Increased profits aren't important. What's important is to be warm, decent human beings."

Lemonade Inc.

Child protects planet with umbrella.

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

Genius

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a suit."

'I want to see more blue sky thinking.'

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"Leadership is about more than delegating all of your work."

'They say money can't buy happiness. Find out what can.'

'You said you wanted more responsibility, so I'm making you responsible for everything that goes wrong.'

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

'Idealist'

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

"No, no - I'm just looking for a balance of power that corrupts in moderation."

"No I wouldn't say you're ahead of your time. More like 'outside of it'."

'Consensus on a Friday afternoon...what a lovely way to begin the weekend!'

'If i had my life to live over again... I'd make the same mistakes sooner'

Ethics (with an eye on the bottom line) committee.

Career Progression Ladder

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

'No Farnsworth, I'm not firing you. I'm enhancing your advancement opportunities.'

"This is quite an impressive resume. Any chance I can work for you?"

Try not to think of yourself as a cog in a vast and uncaring machine...but rather as a small but relatively important cost center.

Digito Ergo Sum.