Corporate Etiquette Explorer T-Shirts

"Linda, is it proper etiquette to announce layoffs via a Tweet?"

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

"You're just buying time, Peterson! I want those figures on my desk by tomorrow!"

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

'Welcome to Change Management 101. We'll start with some free falls.'

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"The secret of our success? Hard work, cutting edge research and bookkeeping issues!"

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

"Hi Sean, welcome to my open space. Take a stand and let's talk."

'And my board approved this?'

"Good evening, Sir. I’m Ian, your server with a serious attitude."

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

Politeness opens doors

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'