Corporate Etiquette Explorer Pillows

"Linda, is it proper etiquette to announce layoffs via a Tweet?"

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"You're just buying time, Peterson! I want those figures on my desk by tomorrow!"

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

'Welcome to Change Management 101. We'll start with some free falls.'

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

"Good evening, Sir. I’m Ian, your server with a serious attitude."

"The secret of our success? Hard work, cutting edge research and bookkeeping issues!"

Politeness opens doors

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

'And my board approved this?'

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'