Corporate Educator Gifts

LISTEN AND LEARN: "Are you sure he's listening to module 3 of 'coping with change'?"

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

A Puppet Named Juan

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"You're fired."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Businesswoman Empowerment

Hate Platforms

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lynching on social media

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Ethics exam cheater.

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Let's not go by the book.'