Education Consultant Gifts

Ethics exam cheater.

Collect all 300 'Theories of educational instruction cards'.

'Look, quit making excuses. You're in kindergarten now. If you ever hope to see grade one, you gotta buckle down.'

Since we initiated staff development, we've turned the school around 360 degrees.

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

"This 'No Child Left Behind' is killing my back."

"Next we've got our awards for imperfect attendance."

Grim Reaper: Ofsted

Mum and Dad had a hell of a job getting me into this school.

'Do you think this new decor is Education Department approved?'

"It's not one of the great daycare centres... but it is low cost."

"There seems to be a difference of opinion as to how to implement the co-operative learning program!"

A Puppet Named Juan

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"You're fired."

Hate Platforms

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Lynching on social media

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

Fear/Knowledge

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Campaign for Plain English

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."