Corporate Trainer Gifts

"For God's sake, Edwards. Put the laser pointer away."

Communication Breakdowns

Effective communications

Before Corporate Training/After Corporate Training

'Almost finished.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'I'm confident that with the right mix of role-playing exercises and prescription medication we'll make a cohesive team.'

'Apparently many companies experience problems including: a lack of direction, poor accountability, lack of respect among members, pushing personal agendas, poor communication ...'

'I'm afraid you'll have to work late tonight, I want you to attend this talk on work-life balance.'

'Mr Frimley, sir, can I have a word about the motivational artwork...'

'Frankly, I'm not sure this whole idea-sharing thing is working.'

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

'It has to be understandable, Higbe. A code of ethics is not actually to be written in code.'

'That's not bad. But most of the other consulatnats gave us mission statemens with more detail.'

"The meeting's at 10. I'll send you a copy of the agenda, the hidden agenda and your personal agenda."

'Why do it the easy way when you can do it the right way?'

'Of course, the first rule of effective management is active participation.'

I need someone who'll ask the tough questions, no matter how risky.

'But you have to admit management's commitment to quality is working.'

Management self help books: "He's staring at me, do you think he's having some kind of seizure?" "Managing negotiations chapter 3, 'maintain eye contact whilst reinforcing image of strength and warmth'"

How to deliver a successful presentation.

CEO decides to enroll the board in an apology workshop.

'You'll like it here, Clayton. In fact it's one of our rules.'

'I'm going to train you to 'Confront Difficult People'... okay, raise your hands if you're a difficult person.'

"How's my presentation? Call 1-800-..."

"Come in, Timpson. I'd love to hear your opinions of the new marketing strategy - so long as they don't clash with mine."

'A touch less rigour on the feedback next time, Stephen.'

'That's part of out in-house, stress management program...'

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'

'As team-building exercises go I've seen worse.'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

Bo're'droom

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."