Corporate Dragonslayer Gifts

Downsized! (Man with shrunken)

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

Warrior Woman

'Dog eat dog.'

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Dragon and Dragoff

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"I've diligently spent the last eight hours saving an entire colony of elves from a pack of vicious dragons and your only concern is that it is 2 am?"

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'