Corporate Director Gifts

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

'I move we go on record for fewer imports here and more imports there!'

'Send it back to committee - oh, this is committee.'

'Here's Arthur now - I'll put him on. I guess he must have had a board of directors' meeting.'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'...and now, please stay tuned for America's Scariest Business Mergers.'

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

"This is Ralph from production. He recently started self identifying as a Director so in the spirit of respecting everyone's individuality he will be joining the board meeting this morning."

Medical Supplies Company

'Tell me more about these sacrifices.'

Jack and Jill

'Oh, my. The board of directors appears ominous today.'

Chairman-Secretary-Finance Director-Next Customer.

"Would you stop quoting Sir John Harvey Jones!"

'I don't like 'yes men', Goldsmith. Especially at board meetings when I'm voting no!'

"I brought in Ron to help us reach an untapped resource."

"I need to take a call. Argue amongst yourselves."

"On the plus side our fertilizer division has shown rapid growth."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"This position has become very important to the company."