Company Directors Gifts

"I told you it would be a mistake linking directors' pay to profits."

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'The company is losing millions and the press are asking questions. Gentlemen,we're looking for a scapegoat.'

He's very thoughtful, he even tells you where the nearest lake to jump in is.

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Golfing Boss

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

Bo're'droom

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."