Company Directors Gifts

"I told you it would be a mistake linking directors' pay to profits."

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'The company is losing millions and the press are asking questions. Gentlemen,we're looking for a scapegoat.'

He's very thoughtful, he even tells you where the nearest lake to jump in is.

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Golfing Boss

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Bo're'droom

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."