Corporate Departure Pillows

'We've decided you should go think outside the company.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

Group Think Time

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

"Fine - you don't want to run in the corporate 5K - I get it. What about the corporate cage fighting team?"

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

'He's been brought in to save the company.'