Corporate Demon Gifts

The devil's profits.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Shake it all about sign on desk

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

Brainstorm in progress.

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Scapegoat of the Year

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'Dear, you know how I hate it when you bring your work home.'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"

Pizza time.

"Josh, can you call my 3:30 and let them know I'll be a little late and completely unfocused."

"Have I complimented you on marketing's renewed team spirit?"

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'All right, Hargreaves, you've made your point clear.'

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

'This is the latest management structure...It'll help you see where you fit in...'

White Collar Crime.