Corporate Dealings Pillows

"To be blunt, we think you're a bit of a bighead..."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'That's our mission statement.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Storm in the out tray

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Working hours.

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Welcome to the Team

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

Born In Captivity.

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow