Corporate Dealmaker Pillows

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

The president's men

A fight in the Boardroom.

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'He exuded the confidence of an exec who had closed mega deals, and hadn't found a flea in a week.'

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

Takeovers.

Opening the door to new customers

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'