Corporate Dealmaker Gifts

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

"Won't say his name, sir - just claims you'll have to make a pact with either him or Mark Zuckerberg."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

The president's men

A fight in the Boardroom.

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

Takeovers.

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

'He exuded the confidence of an exec who had closed mega deals, and hadn't found a flea in a week.'

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."