Corporate Cutback Artist Gifts

"I've just thought of a way to save the company £25,000 a year."

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'Did you get the hard copy from Mr. Dawson?'

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

Just don't let the old man get you down.

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

Aftermath: Hostile Takeover,

Self portrait.

It was Wilbur's first vacation in 17 years.

"He's been studying The Art of Bore."

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"

"Yes, I know, Munger. But Wallace Stevens didn't scribble his damned verses on company time."

Imagine there's no office...

'First, I want to apologize for calling this meeting on such short notice.'

Business Fishing.

'Most of my clients are shareholders, managers and sales executives.'

A businessman leaves a building carrying a surfboard

Ever thought of early retirement?

"Here - I've no use for spreadsheets where I'm going."

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

'To save time, I'll deliver the annual report in the form of a Hiaku.'

"The Company has drawn a line under me and moved on."

'Let me start off by saying this: I called you in here by mistake, and now I want you to leave.'

'We admire your industriousness, Ken, but you're flooding Human Resources again!'

"Unfortunately, we lost the notes on this portion of our sales strategy."

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?'

Next Direction

"Dan, you forgot to put on your out-of-office."

'Just for the minutes did anyone manage to catch the chairman's parting words?'

"Before we hire you, we'd like you to sign this non-compete agreement. It basically states that you won't work anywhere else for the rest of your life."

"The corporate culture here? It's Junior High School without the acne."