Corporate Critics Pillows

'Of course it isn't a case of sexual discrimination. We just don't think you're the right man for the job.'

Time, temperature, and corporate ethics readings.

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

We should promote many of our staff to management positions...

"A motion to democratize the board has been made and quashed."

"The president today urged Americans to spend more and get into debt more..."

"It helps us assess the situation better from up here."

Please help financed by bumpac.

'Employees are our most important asset. With that in mind, we're terminating assets to improve our profit margin.'

'I don't understand...if charities incomes are going down why don't they just do what we do and pay themselves more?'

"The price of oil is dropping...so...why has your gas gone up?!"

'First things first. Before we nail a solution, we have to pin a little blame.'

Corporate person hood!

No to Greed

"...I think this is because we forgot to hire some workers."

'Into the river? Just because I fired you C'mon...feel free to use the company sediment basin!'

"In light of current circumstances, I shall forego my annual bonus."

"Not the best motivational statement I've ever seen!"

Lining our pockets since 1987.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'... And I don't like the way you talk about corporate greed as though it's a bad thing!'

'Boss, we admire you because you never ask us to do anything you wouldn't do yourself.'

"Oh, the doctor told you not to work so hard, did he?... And does the doctor pay your salary?!"

Signing your opinions was the type of fearless, bold and honest act that would destroy this company. You're fired.

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Generics of generics -- that's the way we'll go."

Virtue Signaling for Organizations Messaging to Black Lives Matter

I Want to be a Drone President

"As long as you stay on the track, eventually you'll be run over by the train."

"I'd rather be a huge part of the problem than a tiny part of the solution."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'That's our mission statement.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'