Corporate Conqueror T-Shirts

"You were 3 minutes late for work today, Jennings. Bruno here, my office manager, doesn't like it when employees are late for work."

'Your husband is on line two. He says it's an emergency. He wants to know how to work the microwave.'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"I have to admire the way you won that takeover JB, without losing any of your feminity"

"I've finally learned not to measure my worth by how many employees I have."

'On the other hand, they could just be the sort of bold and aggressive management this firm needs.'

"It turns out the thing that makes my career fulfilling is making more money than other people."

You know my rules, Higgins: unexcused absences require either a note from your doctor or a grand jury.

"I have to take three a day - they curb my appetite for gobbling up companies."

'I've had my cake and eaten it, too - Now I want the cake of others.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"Panic can also be the mother of invention."

'I've learned one thing in my years of experience in the business world -- never see a lawyer without seeing a lawyer first.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'Buzz Off! I'm busy!'

"We've won the takeover battle with Century Insurance..."

'Formerly the cute blonde in the mail room'

Days Of Conquest

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

Boss angry about time keeping (employee is in a coffin).

CEO's office in a safe.

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

Mergers Acquisitions

'I still have one more hostile takeover to pursue before I enter in an anger management program.'

'It's bad enough losing to a takeover bid, but when it's your wife who takes over....'

...We took somebody , then somebody took us over.

Company boss sits at desk near wall sign: Not Here To Make Friends.

'I've had tight deadlines, if that's what you mean by performing well under pressure.'

'Thanks for coming at such short notice.'

"This is Murchison's office. He took over Acquisitions early in the third quarter."

"Someday a prestigious business school will erect a statue in his honor."

'Restless Leg Syndrome in executives has a simple cure. Go kick some butt!'