Corporate Conqueror T-Shirts

"You were 3 minutes late for work today, Jennings. Bruno here, my office manager, doesn't like it when employees are late for work."

'Your husband is on line two. He says it's an emergency. He wants to know how to work the microwave.'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"It turns out the thing that makes my career fulfilling is making more money than other people."

"I've finally learned not to measure my worth by how many employees I have."

"I have to admire the way you won that takeover JB, without losing any of your feminity"

'On the other hand, they could just be the sort of bold and aggressive management this firm needs.'

'I've had my cake and eaten it, too - Now I want the cake of others.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

We're planning a surprise buyout of our competitor from a direction they'd never imagine. How well do you know your way around eBay?

"Panic can also be the mother of invention."

"I have to take three a day - they curb my appetite for gobbling up companies."

You know my rules, Higgins: unexcused absences require either a note from your doctor or a grand jury.

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

"No man's going to stop me from getting to the top!"

'Buzz Off! I'm busy!'

"We've won the takeover battle with Century Insurance..."

'Formerly the cute blonde in the mail room'

'I've learned one thing in my years of experience in the business world -- never see a lawyer without seeing a lawyer first.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

Days Of Conquest

"Someday a prestigious business school will erect a statue in his honor."

'Don't bother with dinner, dear. I just gobbled up two corporations and ate my secretary alive.'

"Crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentations of their women. That's what I want for Christmas."

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."

'I still have one more hostile takeover to pursue before I enter in an anger management program.'

"We will take wal-mart, exxon mobil, chevron and then assimilate them. . . resistance is futile. . ."

Mergers Acquisitions

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

we will take Wal-mart, Exxon, Mobil, Chevron and assimilate them...resistance is futile...

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

CEO's office in a safe.

Boss angry about time keeping (employee is in a coffin).