Corporate Calm Seeker T-Shirts

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?!

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

All we have in life is this moment...

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

'Wait til you see what fishing does for your nerves, Alice.'

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

"Actually we were hoping you'd be encouraging a more conciliatry approach to conflict management."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

Muzak's Top 10

'So, your anger management class is working?'

Binary Meditation.

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

"We're a happy team here Benson - let's try to keep it that way."

"To avoid trouble, I've brought in a troubleshooter."

'I want someone who is smart, cunning and ruthless, but also someone who is too dumb to try for my job.'

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

"We're usually pretty good at spotting job burn-out before it gets bad, but every now and then, someone slips under our radar!"

"Sit in the car. The doctor will be with you shortly to treat your road rage."

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

"Thanks to yoga, mom no long jumps to conclusions. She gently stretches."

'If you can keep your head while all about are losing theirs...'

"We find it calms the patient."

'If you'll just relax and trust me on this...

'Before we begin may I emit a prolonged rant about my work week?