Cork Dodger T-Shirts

Man hiding under the table as Champane is popped open.

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

true love.

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Red Wine

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

'Would Sir like to smell the screw-top?'

"This wine is CORKED!"

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

Baby sucks cork on Australian's bush hat.

A little fizz?

Wine-tasting Tour.

"My voices told me to just relax today!"

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"