Cord Connoisseur Pillows

Felix Mendelssohn

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

Curling your hair for no reason

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Scarpia's Palace

Expensive greeting cards.

"Welcome to the guitar family! Is this all of us? Heck, no! We're just the ones his wife knows about. You'll meet the rest later."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

Moliere

Charles Dickens.

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

Bleak House

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Vampire with a violin

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

Anton Bruckner.

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"Hey dude, when I said curls might help, that's not what I meant."

Lionel Hampton and Chuck Berry

Dmitri Shostakovich

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

"If your tie's too big I can always take it back."