Cops And Creatures Lover Pillows

'This is going to end poorly!'

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

"Mom, can I obliterate New Jersey? Pleeease, mom?"

"Forget it, Larry. We’re not bringing it home."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

"Then I tried the move from business casual to white collar crime."

Bored with retirement, the Great One tries crime.

A detective and a dog are tracing footsteps and dog prints.

Life in the Fast Lane.

I didn't see who attacked me, but that's the guy who got it all on his phone.

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

"If you can prove my innocence to the court, I'll give you half of my cut, from the bank job."

" - Well. . . at least we found the bigfoot. . ."

'He's working undercover to find out 'what up' with youth gangs.'

"Where were you five minutes ago when someone was stealing my getaway car?"

"Why do I always have to play the pirates?"

"She's very affectionate!"

WARNING! Armed Response.

Early Profiling

Man grabbed by sea creature from the television.

"Oh. The store is closed?"

Pygmy giant squid

"I'm with the Freud squad."

"It would appear that the fraudster you released last week should have been his cell mate!"

'Either he really likes you, or you're under arrest.'

'Sequence my genome? They don't even know I exist.'

'The main difference between small animal surgery and large animal surgery...'

"If I trip over something, it takes a minute for me to fall down!"

Have A Nice Day (offer void where prohibited by law)