Coop Humor Aficionado Gifts

They're letting us spend more time outside these days. They have a better understanding of what it's like being cooped up now.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"This position has become very important to the company."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

Thesaurus Company

Should not have put that suggestion in the suggestion box.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

Batsford doesn't suffer fools gladly.

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."