Cool Hunters Pillows

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

A Club Sandwitch.

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

"We succumbed to your hype."

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

Fisherman: 'HOLY MACKEREL!'

'When they said a cruise with a 'balcony view' I didn't think they meant a view of the balcony.'

Computers affect real life.

"Why is there an ad for Jay-Z in the New England Journal of Pediatric Medicine?!"

'You're going to need a bigger net.'

"Were you even listening to me? I don't have a mother to blame anything on!"

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

'-and I suppose you want chips with it?'

"These come with a Health and Safety warning..."

The first Airbender!

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

"It could never work, Richard. I'm going to be a gefilte fish, and you're not."

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

"You kids are lucky. When I was young, we had to roll down the windows and stick our heads out to be cool."

'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'

"Are you talking to me?"

'Well, Dewey, the world will never be the same. ... the deer have gone nuclear.'

'I told you a blowgun was a bad idea!'

'All this job requires is some mud-wallowing and snarling... I'd say you're overqualified.'

"We're from the TV show, Gadget Hoarders. You're so bad, we're doing a two-hour special on you."

'What can we do for you?' - 'I need a song removed from my mind.'

"I wish I had his I.Q.!"