Cooking Show Junkie Pillows

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Dancing with the Star Wars

"Consider this job a reality show where you work your butt off 14 hours a day. If you win, you'll get a paycheck and the chance to do it all over again next week."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'Oh No! Reality theatre.'

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

Woke Jersey Shore

Love Bites: The Dating Game - "No, he loves me more!"

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

Our Summer Without Dave

"When did they add this channel?!"

The Ox Factor

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"Today we're going to talk about brainless reality TV."

Violence on TV.

"We love watching you. Your planet is our favorite reality show."

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

"We've voted you off the island."