Reality Show Junkie Pillows

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'Gerald loves firing Donald Trump!'

"I never miss that reality show with those skinny little models who fight all day just so they can be on TV."

"I was really upset when they cancelled The Apprentice but this is even better."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

University Soapflakes

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Dancing with the Star Wars

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"Spoiler alert."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Consider this job a reality show where you work your butt off 14 hours a day. If you win, you'll get a paycheck and the chance to do it all over again next week."

Mog The Week

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

Frank and Ernie's Poetry Corner. Robert Frost. TV Guide. I think I'll watch some late-night comedy

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

'Oh No! Reality theatre.'