Cooking Show Addict T-Shirts

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

"When did they add this channel?!"

Goose escapes the tv.

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

"The DNA does not lie Mrs Miggins...or should I call you Don Escobar Bolivian drugs czar?"

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

Hand coming out of chandelier pulls cover off waiter's food.

Chefs

'Ready, steady, Operate'

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

"I forget, is this the show with the back stabbing, or the front stabbing?"

Mouse policeman eats cheese from victim's trap.

Further Sanctions

'It's indigestion due to your lifestyle, you're watching too many T.V. cookery shows.'

"Which cooking competition show did you get your training from?"

"'Game of Thrones' is finished George, get over it."

'... and I sentence you to three years appearing in reality TV shows.'

'Celebrity chef' 'Celery chef'

If the glass slipper had disappeared at midnight with all the other stuff.