Cooking Show Addict Gifts

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

Mary Berry

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

Goose escapes the tv.

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

"When did they add this channel?!"

"The DNA does not lie Mrs Miggins...or should I call you Don Escobar Bolivian drugs czar?"

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

Hand coming out of chandelier pulls cover off waiter's food.

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

'Ready, steady, Operate'

Myleene Klass

Chefs

'Would you like a complimentary tour of purgatory?' - 'Yeah, okay.' - 'I have to say... it's more comfy than I'd imagined.' - 'Take a seat. Celebrity Big Brother is on.' - 'Oh, hold on. Can I change the channel, please?!' - 'I'll be back in a bit...'

"I forget, is this the show with the back stabbing, or the front stabbing?"

Mouse policeman eats cheese from victim's trap.

"'Game of Thrones' is finished George, get over it."

'Celebrity chef' 'Celery chef'

'It's indigestion due to your lifestyle, you're watching too many T.V. cookery shows.'

"Apart from writing your new cookery book what else have you been up to?"

'... and I sentence you to three years appearing in reality TV shows.'

Further Sanctions