Cooking Mishaps Admirer Gifts

"Arrrrrrrrr. This be bad."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Roasted

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Now why would a seagull fly in here and try to establish a rapport with me?"

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

' NO...NO..Mabel...BUNS!...Hot cross BUNS!'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

'I don't think it's cooked yet, but there's smoke coming out of the oven.'

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'You must be the only wife who uses a smoke alarm as a food timer!'

All sizzle and no roast

Punch Initials - T

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'