Cooking Comedy Fan T-Shirts

'Would you mind moving your feet about, I don't want the vegetables to catch?'

"Say hello to my little friend!"

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Operating table.

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"Well, I just assumed you wanted your toast like your coffee."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

Cook and her Maids

'Anybody for breakfast?'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"It'll never be ready in time."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

Road Kill Cafe.

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

Cedric instantly regretted 'pumping up the jam...'

'Ready, steady, Operate'

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

Russian eggs.