Cooking Comic Fan T-Shirts

'Do you do the squished up little balls that taste of fish - or are you the wrong ethnicity?'

Roman Noodles

"...I'm sick of having to remove the bones."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"A votre sante!"

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

Large Very Fresh Eggs

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

Road Kill Cafe.

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

"Keep it in the sling and rub hot sauce on our wing every 4 hours."

'Aw, cool! Look! They got us a hot tub!'

'Who ordered the mushy peas?

"Say hello to my little friend!"

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

"That's it, deep fried or mashed. Do you want a job or not?"

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

'What price range did you have in mind?'

"Well, I just assumed you wanted your toast like your coffee."

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

"You still use too much yeast in your bread!"

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

'Thinner!'

Operating table.

"I fear this place is going downhill."

"I heard we're now legal in some states."

'Hey! My Chili is Chilly!' 'I'll add some Chilies!'

'... And you're positive that you didn't order, fly soup?'