Cookie Jar Conqueror Pillows

'I've had a lot of experience at this. My Mom keeps the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator.'

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Second lifeReal life.

Just call me Picasso!

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

Am Awful Crammer.

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

A woman's work is never done!

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

Access Denied!

A day in the life of a dish sink

Painter's Duel.

"Stop staring"

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

The Colonel at home.

Contest to enter the University

'My right brain isn't working.'

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

"Ok, let's sneak up on Mr. Canvas and see if we can make a good impression."

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'