Cookie Jar Conqueror Mugs

'I've had a lot of experience at this. My Mom keeps the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator.'

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Just call me Picasso!

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Second lifeReal life.

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

Am Awful Crammer.

Well, what did you expect on the mother ship?

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

A woman's work is never done!

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

A day in the life of a dish sink

Access Denied!

Painter's Duel.

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"Stop staring"

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

The Colonel at home.

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

"Ok, let's sneak up on Mr. Canvas and see if we can make a good impression."

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

"Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?"

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'