Cookie Crime Detective Gifts

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

Pie Filling Reader

Missing Easter Egg

"The cookies are always stale."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

A complimentary biscuit

'Something tells me I shouldn't have had these around Easter.'

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

"For God's sake, Michelangelo, it's just a cookie!"

'And, it's made from scratch not from a mix.'

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

Unpopular Christmas cookie shapes

I see bread people! A scary movie in Wonderland.

'These fortune cookies are outdated. They quote Greenspan instead of Bernanke.'

'Keep an eye out for the cookie police.'

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."

"We have some little cookie cutter houses you might like."

'It's worth a try. I heard dad say there are thousands of cookies in this computer!'

'Kevin's Mom makes wonderful cookies. Let's go over to Eddie's house. His Mom makes wonderful lemonade.'

'These are Trans-Fat free, right?'

A woman rides a treadmill as she chases a cookie jar on a refridgerator.

"Decaf. They can't be far away."

The cookies improve, or it's coal next year.

'What kinda dessert will I miss out on if I don't eat this stuff'

"It appears it's middle was licked out."

"Dear Santa, The cookies were made with laxatives. If you give me the bike I want, I'll give you the key to the bathroom door. Love, Jimmy."

'You may not believe it, but it's made from a mix.'

'We now serve 'Fortune 500' fortune cookies!'

"Tia Carmn, psychic readings are so phony!"

Vending Machine Items - 50 cents.

I need a sample of your DNA. Bug off, greed ball. Someone stole a pastry. I have a right to police my own cafe. Oh, fine. Here's some DNA. Splat! Nice aim. This does not happen on CSI!!

"You said you were chocolate chip. Now all I can taste is raisin!"

'I'd ask if you liked the cookies, grandma, but my mom says there's no pleasing you.'