Cookie Counsel Gifts

"They've checked the DNA and it's gingerbread."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Ninja bread men"

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

Instant Gratification Cafe.

' I let you think it's your ides...then I agree with you.'

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'...Unt yur sufferink from a condition vee call tee 'Edible Complex'.'

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

A complimentary biscuit

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

(No caption). Woman looks at cookie sheet which contains two cookies. One is a frowning gingerbread man whose arm, leg and part of its stomach have been bitten off. The second cookie is a smiling gingerbread man who has a very full stomach.

"The cookies are always stale."

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

Accept cookies?

'To attract the most talented spies we're changing our package . . . to jammie dodgers and a gobstopper.'

"It's my day off."

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

Cookie Thief

'I've got a perfect investment plan: For half my money, I'll buy cookie plant stocks and for the the other half, I'll buy diet pill makers stocks!'

"Wait. Let it breathe."

"Grandma is really nice but she makes a mean cookie."

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'