Cookie Combatant Gifts

"Ninja bread men"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

Miracle Mom #5,293

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

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"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'I've had a lot of experience at this. My Mom keeps the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator.'

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

'My whole life, I've felt like I've been running from something...'

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

"The cookies are always stale."

'Because it's there!'

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

Cookie Thief

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

"For God's sake, Michelangelo, it's just a cookie!"

Pizza Fencing

Unpopular Christmas cookie shapes

M.D. Robotics. Oil. Stop downloading so many cookies.

I see bread people! A scary movie in Wonderland.

'These fortune cookies are outdated. They quote Greenspan instead of Bernanke.'

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

Santa's Nightmares