Cookie Bandit Wrangler Gifts

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Baby Walker

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

Fish talking about fisherman

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

Deliboys

"Mom, can you come get me?"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

Shore fishing requires threading the needle.

Cookie Surveillance

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

'Alright, just this once. One, two, three, four, five...'

'They said before they start biting do we practice catch and release?'

The First Day Back

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'I've had a lot of experience at this. My Mom keeps the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator.'

Nanny with children on leash

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

'Hey, you little punks wouldn't be trying to swamp me, would you?'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

Mom's House O' Chili.

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

"The Day Center called. They say your little girl is resisting arrest."

Dunking biscuits in the bosses tea.

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

Cookie Thief

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."