Coo Gifts

'We reorganized so many times we are now one of our own subsidiaries.'

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

Ted's ability to multitask was key to his firms, success.'

'Inform their C.E.O., C.F.O. and C.O.O. that their proposal is D.O.A..'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

Former Fortune 500 Corporate Executive Until My Salary Became Linked to My Performance

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

Chief Acronym Officer busy at work

Pigeons collect at door of COO

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"I know honesty is the best policy, but maybe the second best works for us..."

"Next order of business, Gentlemen. We still need to choose a theme for the prom..."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

Boardroom seating etiquette - Body Odour

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's time for a bold new direction...I'm changing my catchphrase from 'lock and load' to 'yank and crank.''

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Parking signs read: 'CEO COO CFO SON'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"