C.e.o. Gifts

"As C.E.O., I try to look at the big picture, while J.G., as president, sees to the day-to-day operations."

"Now that we reinvented ourselves, who do you think should run the company?"

Mother Krupkie's Pies and Cakes

Start-Up Team

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

C.E.O.s deserve respect.

"There's an angry peasant mob carrying pitchforks and torches. I just assumed they're here to see you."

"Someday, this will all go into your pre-nuptial agreement."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'