Convincing Communicator Gifts

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"Those are wonderful insights jack but we're, Looking for actual ideas."

"Don't judge me until you've walked a mile on my medication."

"We'll less than two metres again, don't know where, don't know when..."

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Time for speeches

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"Your free-floating anxiety is floating over to me."

Debate Club Note

'According to the blood tests, x-rays and EKG... You're fat.'

"I've found my voice, Penny. It's deep, wise, and compassionate."

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

"Oh, hello darling..."

'I'm very impressed with how you effectively dodged every one of my questions.'

Beaten up man to Good Samaritan: 'Thank you. My insurance doesn't cover roadside service.'

"Is it just me or does the price of the milk of human kindness keep going up?"

"Lord, if my prayers are pleasing to Thee, please confirm by fax."

"I'm gonna make this short and to the point."

"It's like you haven't heard a single thing I've thought."

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone. . . Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?"

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

'It's outrageous to be labelling people 'bonkers' in this day and age...put this one on instead.'

'This is God I Missed you in church last Sunday.'

"Compliments of the gentleman who obviously has no issues with rejection."

Boy stays on grandpa's 'check list.'

'You don't have to worry about using up your minutes.'

'Answer me! It's your mother! Don't give me that vow of silence!'

'...and you can read the rest of it on my blog.'

"You doing ok, Panda?"