Conversation Pieces Pillows

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Could I ask just one question?"

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"So, what do you do for play?"

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"How about a hand."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'