Conversation In Anachronisms Pillows

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

Moses' Tablet

Physician tending a mummy.

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Cord cutter

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Ideas Ahead of their Time

"Right here's fine."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"How about a hand."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

Dialogue

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"Professor, this changes everything."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

'This 'Hamlet' thing you're working on... Do you think you could write in a part for Lady Godiva?!'

"Hot Pocket"

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

Don Quixote is recorded by Sancho Panza.

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

A lesson in wit

"Things get more interesting at noon."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

"All I need now is a trainer!"

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning