Conversation Analyst Gifts

Research into how men and woman communicate

Trapped in a how-are-you vortex

Psychologist interrupting a patient trying to tell her people don't let him finish what he's saying.

'Anyway, enough about you. Let's talk about me.'

"If there's one thing I can't abide it's being interrupted while I'm mansplaining."

'I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"You're trying to stifle a yawn, Henry. I saw your nostril twitch!"

'A text? See, this is what I mean when I say 'We don't talk anymore.''

'He will just drone on and on!'

How to Kill a Middle Class Conversation.

"It took years of practice, but I can now maintain a credible caring expression while dealing with excruciating boredom. So what were you saying about your mother?"

The Banality of Evil

"...Any inquiry as to what you may think on any given subject is merely a social convention and should not be construed as implying any actual interest on my part!"

Small talk

"Can you not stare at your phone when I'm talking?"

The psychiatrist.

MEMEME All about me!

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"Google is definitely female. She chips in before you can finish your sentence."

"I miss my husband all the time. . ."

Greeting card sections.

'Yak, yak, yak...' Man disappears.

'Hey, watch your language you two! Can't you see there's a lady present?!'

'Nice talking to you, but would you please excuse me? I need to get some air...'

'Do you get the feeling there isn't much substance in most conversations?'

'You know, sometimes I think we don't even speak the same body language.'

"You asking or offering?"

A man being taken too literally

I hope I didn't hear you correctly, Lance. Actually, I hope so too, Gloria.

"Know what I like about you Randy? You're a real man."

"You look like you haven't lost weight."

"Events are unfolding very slowly."

"If I hear someone use the word 'mindful' one more time, I'm going to lose my mind."

"No, I mean literally literally!"