Convention Gifts

'Pick a business card.'

'I can't believe everybody isn't camping out to get in first.'

"Is this the sign in for the ophthalmology convention?"

Inclusive speech

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Science fiction fans on other planets

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

2016 election squabbles!

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

Government and Opposition

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Meetings and Conventions - Warfare

"Psychiatric convention"

Star Wars convention...

"Look, Earl. . . It's a young person Republican! They do exist!"

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room

Amnesiacs Convention.

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'Now that I'm retired, I have time for state and national meetings, but I no longer need the information.'

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."