Controversy Collectors Pillows

David Petraeus

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Toadstools

Piranhaclaus

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Nerdy man wagging his finger.

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

Vincent Van Gogh's family reunion Family members with ears missing or bandaged up

USA in Pakistan: I'm the sheriff and I shot my deputy...

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"I guess laughter wasn’t the best medicine."

The water desk

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

'Yipee! A cockroach!'

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

'Too dressy?'

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

Crystal Ball Plug

"Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's one helluva negotiator."

Hello City Pound? Please take my dog away.

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

The Daily Fury

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

"Lawrence never goes anywhere without his ecosystem."

'The following program contains original ideas of an educational nature and may not be suitable for all viewers. Discretion is advised.'

'Sometimes laughter is the best medicine!'

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

'You caught it! You clean it!'